I had a wired dream … few days ago … it was for the firs time i have dreamed about him since we broke up. I have tried many times to see him … even in my dreams … it would have been enough for me … but it didn’t work, since a few days. I think i usually dream about a person i use to have feelings about, when i start to feel that everything is over … and there is nothing more that i could do …. I have dreamed about him last Friday … i was always behind him … we were in the bus, then into a supermarket … i could only see him from behind…. he was as always … cold, careless, stone hart …. everything felt so real … i didn’t wanted him to see me … i hided between shelves and people … he didn’t care … he further walked.

Then there was rain … it was raining … so strong that there was a little cascade … there were some stairs …. and water felt like a pure crystal cascade …. some would say there should be tears … but i know there wouldn’t bee the tears for him …. i’m not scared about that … but it can be worse then that …..

Tomorrow will be a hard day ….. THE DAY … I hope I will pass …. it would be too hard … even for me … i thought i wouldn’t be able to be hurt by him also, but in the end i am … and I know there is nothing I can do …. but this would be to much …. we shill see …. tomorrow or the day after tomorrow ….. i am a little scared about tomorrow …. i know what should follow …. either work … or a short vacantion … and them, starting everything, all over again …..