I didn’t told him I will come by. He didn’t expected my visit. I never come to visit him … we are nothing for each other.

he wasn’t surprised I have came to visit him. He was not upset, nor happy about this.

I have asked him for a cigarette, he passed the package to me! “Not this” I refused! I need a cigarette, you know what I mean! I want the grass! – I insisted!

I have never smoked marijuana! I have never smoked anything! I never smoke!

He was not surprised. he simply took some dry grass from a plastic bag, placed it on a piece of paper and hand it over to me … I forbidden myself to tack it, so I took the cigarette in my right hand and stared et it. with my left hand I grabbed his arm and told hem to stay with me … the was my anchor to reality I had to have him close …

He lighted my cigarette. I watched the smoke. I  braved it … frightened, attentive to whatever  it might have been strange in my behavior. There was nothing. Just me. I took my first smoke … I have tasted its taste … and waited for any reaction … I have tasted the second smoke. I looked around. He was there looking at me.

I took the third, and then the fourth, and the fifth … and I have lost the count …  I payed attention to everything around me, I was looking for everything that I could find unusual … I looked at him. He was looking at me.

My cigarette was over … and I was waiting for anything to happen. It was strange!

I got up from where I stood. I left. He grabbed my hand. “What happened” he asked. “Nothing” – I said. “There is nothing for me on the other side”!