The last time this happened it was for or five ears ago …. I was in visit at my sister, it was late in the night. I can’t remember whether we went in a club and we came back home … or it was just that I was very tiered. I was not hungry but I knew I had to eat something … I have mentioned a time ago that each time I feel sick I eat something and start feeling a bit better. I tried to eat something but didn’t got the chance as I lost my conscience before. I think I hit the table somehow with my back as I had a terrible bruise on my back …. my sister got very scared as I had some convulsions ….
it didn’t happened again …. even though I had the feeling of being dizzy or having head each, very often even lately …. not until now …
It was strange … usually I feel sick before … I wake up dizzy or have such a feeling … but I woke up normal. Took my laptop and went in the kitchen for the breakfast. I placed my laptop on the table and wanted to take the bread. I started getting cold … but it is not the feeling of being cold … it start’s with the hands. They get colder and colder. You feel them dry and bloodless. Then it gets to the face. You feel needles in your cheeks. They’re getting colder and colder. And also you feel them dry … like there would be no blood running into your veins. … I didn’t panicked … I usually control these kind of feelings, and manage to pass over. Some time ago I had a discussion with Budri about spasmodically. He teached me a very interesting lesson about spasmodics. When people usually have the symptoms of getting spasmodic they get panicked, which will increase the level of adrenaline into their blood and get their hart run faster, which will finally go to collapse and loosing conscience. Since this discussion I have tried to control my symptoms and I must admit it really works. I have also tried today, I stood on the chair let the bread on the table …. and then …. then I felt like I was in my bead. It was worm and comfy. I know I dreamed about something … I can’t really remember what it was about … but I know I wandered what have happened with me … whether I have dreamed that I woke up and went in the kitchen … then I realized I was laying on the kitchen’s floor … the chair was down also … I had a taste of blood in my mouth … I didn’t knew what have happened … I couldn’t realize what was going on … then I remembered I felt sick, and the symptoms I had before … I started making sens about what have happened to me … I wanted to get up, but I couldn’t … the second part of the crisis was about to start …. I stood there as the convulsions shake my body … I felt cold … as the floor was cold … I was trembling … Soon after the convulsions … the sensation of not being able to control my body passed … I was able to get up, but still had to sit in order to get in touch with the real world. I realized then that it was one of my lips that was bleeding not my nose as I thought. I eat a banana – for the sweets, as usually these crisis are because of lack of sweets/ sugar into the blood … I started feeling a bit better … and was able to get to the bathroom … I looked into the mirror … I saw my face dirty with blood … my lip in broken and still bleeding … an ugly bruise under the right eye … still humanly acceptable … I look like after a bad fight with my boyfriend … if I had one 
… so I can justify …. I washed my face … still couldn’t wash it very good as I still felt dizzy and thought it would be much better to go in to the bead. I reached my comfy bead … and tried to put myself together …. still had the bad head each …. and felt my bones heavy …
I stood a couple of minutes in my bead …. couldn’t do anything … just thought what should I do next … I feel much better now … I have cleaned the blood into the kitchen, and eat something. I still feel dehydrated … like there would be no blood running into my veins … I feel my skin dry … I can’t think which could have been the cause of this crisis … I haven’t felt bad … for a long time … I had a terrible head each yesterday … but it was nothing unusual about that ….
It came to my mind … something foolish and strange … when I touched my skin … and felt it very dry … it came to my mind that is feels like the skin of a dead man … the skin of my past uncle … it came to my mind the fact that last night I felt the smell of my past uncle …
